Cleaning out the garage for the 2nd time in 3 weeks...first time I moved shit, swept, vacuumed, reorganized the tools. I didn't get to clearing the shelves on the south wall out, so that's where I started this time.

Had a pile of duffle bags stacked by the laundry machines. In another life I used to regularly aquire duffle bags as a side effect of work.

Well, the fuckin mice decided to move into that duffle bag pile in the past 3 weeks.

I could taste in the air that something bad was going down in that pile...and sure enough, the last bag was chewed to oblivion and filled with shredded papers and toilet paper. Those little shits are clever. Resourceful.

I shook it out in the driveway and the whole god damn nest fell out, looking up at me in frozen confusion.

I started stomping around on em like a lunatic, nailing the ones that made a run for it, then coming back for the ones that didn't move an inch from where they landed.

I scooped up the carnage with a broom and dust pan...11 little sons of bitches I don't have to contend with trapping.

So I'm a little shaken all happened in like 20 seconds. I'm having a cig about it, recovering from my berserker rage. Then I glimpse a quick grey shadow shoot along the outside of the closed garage door...oh shit mama's back...

She ran in the garage, but all her usual cover was gone...She was waaaaay faster than her nest, but I caught up to her. No more nests for her.

Before I can even take my last drag, pitch the butt and get back at it, I saw 2 more in the driveway. One I had nailed during the berserker, I just missed it when scooping up. But the other, all I saw was a tail peeking out from under a box I'd moved out there... I picked the heavy box up and put it down about a half inch east of where it was...that was all that one needed and

GOOD CHRISTMAS MORNING and one more just now friends, as I was typing this toot, ran in from the outside! 😡😤😡

So adding the one I just killed literally seconds ago, we are at 14 adolescent mice and one big momma.

I'll spare you the pictures. It's too crazy. Out of control. Too much more of this and I'll need to call in an air strike...

@SirSpencer Some fucking rodent moved into my steel toe rubber boots. Totally ruined....but free rice!

It's a storage locker so WHERE THE FUCK DID THE RICE COME FROM?!

@OVDB bro where do they come from where do they go

Where do I stack these bodies, cotton-eyed Joe?


I hated when I find the baby mice that somehow made it out of the nest. I'm like nooooooooo, I don't want to kill them but....

(Background...I live in an ancient house in a sorta country town and the field mice just love to become unwanted roommates. Under control for now but not holding my breath.)

@QTpuff they were juuuust old enough that I didn't feel so bad. They were past the helpless stage. Just quite small. But still fully furry and the ones that tried to run were pretty quick.

Not quick enough tho.


....Jesus Fuck dude

I don’t need a pic with this mental image I got going

@Boo_BuryMothman if you imagined them all in 80s horror gore with their insides prominently displayed, don't worry too much, there were only 3 or 4 that got that bad

@SirSpencer lol the only thing I’m picturing is the adrenaline rush and the

“Ah Jesus fucking what the shit ass ahhh /me slam slam slams!”

@Boo_BuryMothman I'm throwing these shoes out. They were already past their expiration, but once shoes get a taste for blood they can't return to everyday business casual walking around again.

@Boo_BuryMothman they are what a poor man calls his best black dress shoes...I didn't change out of my REALTOR® costume from a showing I did earlier 🙈

@SirSpencer hahahaha fljesus fucking Christ!!!

Bro I’m so sorry!!!!!!!!!!

This was a well written thread!
Each post stands alone, but draws you in, reading it backward was just as enjoyable.
@SirSpencer @Boo_BuryMothman

@Economic_Hitman @Boo_BuryMothman thanks brother glad you enjoyed 🙏 I had to write about it lol it was too wild

Years ago. Just as I fall asleep, SHW started screaming bloody murder. The cat brought a rat in the house, very much alive. After a few moments of standoff between me and rat, I realize we have an expert to handle it. I grab the cat and set him on the rat. Cat chases rat out the front door. No idea what became of rat. My 9yo son runs out with his knife. Ready to defend his mom from whatever threat!!! Great son!! Okay cat. Lol 🤸‍♂️

@Johnmccabe thank God the children are our future and not those worthless cats!

@SirSpencer Better you than me, sir! Sorry about your trauma, it's for the best, though.

@zonz they ruined too much of my shit for me to feel very bad, but it's still intense to finish off that many in such a short window.


Ah, yessir, I reckon you went into primal, Lord-of-the-Flies mode when you saw all those damn rats! Always wears a man out.

@SirSpencer reminds me of Charlie from always sunny in Philadelphia. In the basement bashing rats

@madchuck for what it's worth I didn't taste any 😜 lol gotta bash them rats or they'll bash you!

@SirSpencer you have to use poison pellets. There's little else that works besides borrowing a dozen cats that really hate mice. Once they get inside, it could take a month to ensure they're all dead. Fuckers breed like tribbles

@Klaatu I've used poison before, all it seemed to do was turn all their turds green lol

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