Pinned toot

Don’t worry if your store is out of TP. There are alternatives.

Democrats have gone from the era of Obama and having tingles running up and down their leg to Biden having tinkles running down his leg.

"...when you chip away at the free press, you chip away at the heart of democracy."


Dear Big Brother, I am cooking a 25lb turkey and serving 30 family and friends. We will not wear masks. During the meal we will talk about how Trump is still our president and Biden is trying to steal the election. After, we will drink excessively, sing duets loudly into a shared microphone and dance cheek to cheek. Once the party has hit full tilt we’ll go outside and shoot our guns in the air and yell “Praise Jesus.” When the sun comes up we’ll sing the National Anthem and head to work.

In an effort to slow the spread by controlling the size of gatherings around the television: Gov Gavin Newsom mandates no TV larger than 42” to be sold during Black Friday sales events. Violators will be jailed immediately and confiscated large format televisions will be redistributed to displaced violent prisoners.
Existing televisions exceeding 42” will be confiscated and given to the homeless for Christmas.

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