Pinned toot

I gave one of my BEST sets last night, but it was not good enough to move on in Portlands Funniest. This was a audience vote, and the deck was a little stacked for the winner(s), but they had a good night too.
Fun stuff. Just means I gotta work on my funny a lot harder.

"I would LOVE to attend your wedding! Wait...will there be children under 12 present....? If so...gotta decline bruh...."

Whenever I had to learn a new language, I always learned the cuss words first. That way I could tell when people were talking about me. I grew up in a Mexican ghetto, so I was fully aware of those words.
I wanted to learn 'dangerous' languages. I learned how to tell a Samoan they are 'fucking assholes'.
And I have actually used it ....once.....and it taught me a valuable lesson.
Once you are thrown into it...an 8 foot window is very expensive to replace....

I am going to say I saw this coming...but I think it was mentioned on NA first:

The terms “women of color” and “people of color” are meant to be inclusive. But, from my perspective, they only help to leave black people behind — specifically black women.
latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-o

I did like pedaling around PDX today to go between gigs. I just wish I knew the streets better on this side of the river, I have an approximation, but unless you have been down them, the streets can be hard to find once across.
I missed biking, more than work for sure. Just the freedom to move and go when and where I want to.
Like tomorrow, I am biking up to my dispensary and getting ready for some more open mics. Gotta prepare for the Portland Funniest on Tuesday. Me? nervous? No...?

I have 8 month SOLID unemployment benefits. $2200 a Month, and all I have to do is apply to TWO jobs a week via electronic submits, and then work on my comedy for the rest of the time. Or I can get a job that pays 4 times that and work 40+ hrs a week, commute in daily, deal with stress and timelines and other people.....HMMMMMMMMMMM

They say "To the Victor go the Spoils" Which just makes me glad I am not named Victor cause I like fresh stuff....

E-Scooters - More dangerous than :
Andrew Hardy was crossing the street on an electric scooter in downtown Los Angeles when a car struck him at 50 miles per hour and flung him 15 feet in the air before he smacked his head on the pavement and fell unconscious.

The 26-year-old snapped two bones in each leg, broke a thighbone, shattered a kneecap, punctured a lung and fractured three vertebrae in his neck, in addition to sustaining a head injury.
autoblog.com/2019/06/09/electr

You cannot judge someone "By their Actions" until they commit those actions.

Comedian:
You can show up drunk...stoned...drink on the job...yell and cuss...but as long as the work gets done, everyone is happy.

If I were to OD now, people would just think it was an assisted suicide.

Everytime I hear someone talk about eating Edibles, and they have never done them before:
Not high....
Not high....
OMG My Head just exploded!

I enjoy cannabis. Hourly if not daily.Thats right, I said . Folks think "He calls it that because is racist & thought up by some rich white patriarichal motherfuckers in the 1930's"
While all that IS True... I call it ... cause thats its NAME (its in the book) I like to use the correct names for things. Helps me keep shit straight. If someone yells out CHAD! I am NOT turning around. Cause its not my name
Although, if someone yelled MARIJUANA! I would turn around.

So, to "prove" Opioid deaths were unaffected by legality, they LENGTHENED the time for the study - 10yrs Prior to Legal, when was NOT legal:

goo.gl/alerts/UyU4x

The new study looked over more time - from 1999 to 2017 - they found an almost 23 percent increase in opioid overdose deaths in states with medical marijuana laws.
“With the benefit of a longer time span ... we conclude that medical cannabis laws do not seem to have reduced opioid overdose mortality

On like Donkey Kong!
portland.heliumcomedy.com/page

I don't remember using that picture...but it fits...

had to dbl chk the date vause the video guy texts me and asks "You want a copy of your set tomorrow?" - Uh...you WORK there and cant get the dates right? man....oh man....NERVES SUCK.

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